Detachment is Attachment

It takes a fraction of a second to be close to someone, but ages to detach from a person. Why does that happen? Is it the state of ever-present denial in our mind that does not allow us to believe that the person who you thought will be by your side for long is the one who is drifting apart? Of course it is.

Often it's our presumption and perception that makes the realistic seem unrealistic and vice-versa. For instance, it really is just your mind that is not allowing you to believe that this friend of yours could do something like this, something this bad, this hurtful. Now, in this case your mind will instinctively start to build excuses like 'maybe he/she is just busy' or 'maybe they have issues at home'. One can just not accept the bitter truth. We simply try to run away from the pain we are bound to face sooner or later. It’s the apprehension of being alone that makes us grow this weary.

The cardinal mistake we all tend to commit is to give attention to that person. We run behind them hoping they would come back to us but, sadly enough, they don't even show a glimpse of concern or care towards us. Think: arrogance. Unfortunately, this leads to an even more substantial dig into our morale and self-esteem. What wrong have we done to feel so miserable in life? All we did was love too much. The only way this can be avoided is by not showering your attention on that person, because, at the end of the day, they just don't deserve it Hold on to your relation with them for as long as you can, but when time comes, you've to let go and walk away. People come and go, and can't make one person your priority and let them ruin your happiness. Make yourself what matters.

Ignore the person who betrays you half-way through and couldn't respect your friendship: they have no authority to seek for your attention. If they come back then everything's well and good, but if not, it's even better as you've not only become so independent, but emotionally stronger too. You certainly don't need a low-life person in your life (The reason I call them low-life being that they couldn't even value the friendship as much as you did).

Frankly speaking, no one is going to stay permanently. There will a few, very special ones who will stay through your rough times and successes, cheer with you and cry with you and be the small clear voices in your heart, but apart from them ,no one stays for long. So don't waste your tears and exert yourself to take the extra pains on the people who're temporary in your life. One just needs to learn not to get so close to someone that it almost becomes unbearable to bear the separation. At the end, even if you bring the sky down for the person who is drifting apart, you will still not be credited or appreciated and neither will the person choose to come back.

The one who had to leave will leave. No force in the universe will stop them to return back to you. It's on you how you deal with it. The ball is in your court. If you choose to be grumpy and depressed then you might just be oblivious to the people who're willing to be your friends and be there for you. Who knows someone right next to you will be the one to stand by your side at every phase of life without expecting much from you.